Divorce: 365 Days Later

I downloaded the Timehop app a couple months ago. It logs into your Facebook/Instagram/Twitter account and lets you know what you posted on that day a year ago, two years ago, 7 years ago…it will show your pictures, status updates, links, anything you posted in the past. I will admit it is pretty cool. I love seeing old pics of the kids or rambling updates about my day- but lately it hasn’t been as fun. In fact, some days I dread the little push notification reminding me that Timehop Abe wants to share my past with me. I especially dreaded today.

One year ago today I posted my blog: Divorce.

Yikes. 365 days ago I was tired of smiling, tired of pretending and tired of answering questions. Instead, in an act of complete insanity with a small moment of bravery- I threw my business out into the universe. I had no idea what the reception would be. I assumed there would be some criticism. I mean, who announces they are getting a divorce on Facebook? Me.

The support was overwhelming and thankfully the haters kept their criticism to themselves. I got over 100 hits in the first couple hours and by the end of the day I had almost 200. Currently I have over 320 page views for my post, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but was about 300 more than I was used to getting. I kept writing. It became my therapy; I began writing at least once a day, sometimes two or three. I had to write, I had to get it out of my brain. I needed a constructive outlet rather than the destructive path I could have so easily explored.

One year ago today I wrote: Some fairytales don’t have a happy ending.

This is still true. Fairytales take a shit ton of work and a whole lot of forgiveness and communication. We are still working on communication. I feel like we don’t speak the same language sometimes. We don’t finish each other’s…sandwiches.  It is fantastically frustrating.

So here we are, just one year, 365 days later and I wish I had some grand profound message gleaned from the past 12 months, but I don’t. I have learned some smaller lessons about myself and how I thought the world worked. I am easier on myself and certainly less judgmental of others. I used to be so sure that life is easier than we made it, but I don’t know if that is true anymore.

 Life can be hard. Life can be messy and complicated. Life can be all fucked up and leave you in a heap after being thrown around and spit out. But, thankfully, you hope to gain some perspective and grow from your situations. I know that everyone is fighting their own battles that we may never know about. I know that we need to give each other a break- we are just doing the best we can.

I guess that is my new life motto: Be good to people and start with you.

xoxo

 

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4 thoughts on “Divorce: 365 Days Later

  1. Wow. Thanks for sharing. It seems like it wasn’t long ago that I was just divorced and it was such a strange time in my life. It’s been over 6 years now, but now seems like another lifetime ago. That’s when I started writing too. It’s so therapeutic isn’t it? I’m glad I found your blog – I think we have a lot in common!

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    • Sylvie- thank you for reading! I am finding that we all have more in common than not…we are all human! I am glad that you found writing so therapeutic, too- much easier than any alternatives.

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    • Crystal- I recently switched from Blogger to WordPress and haven’t yet brought all my blog posts to the new site. Click on the “divorce” link within the blog to go to my Blogger account to read all the posts in between “Divorce” and “365 Days Later”. It was a difficult and emotionally twisting road, as all divorced can be, but ultimately after filing papers we reconciled. Thank you for reading and please read through the other blogs, it was a journey, but we made it. So far. 🙂

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