I downloaded the Timehop app a couple months ago. It logs into your Facebook/Instagram/Twitter account and lets you know what you posted on that day a year ago, two years ago, 7 years ago…it will show your pictures, status updates, links, anything you posted in the past. I will admit it is pretty cool. I love seeing old pics of the kids or rambling updates about my day- but lately it hasn’t been as fun. In fact, some days I dread the little push notification reminding me that Timehop Abe wants to share my past with me. I especially dreaded today.
One year ago today I posted my blog: Divorce.
Yikes. 365 days ago I was tired of smiling, tired of pretending and tired of answering questions. Instead, in an act of complete insanity with a small moment of bravery- I threw my business out into the universe. I had no idea what the reception would be. I assumed there would be some criticism. I mean, who announces they are getting a divorce on Facebook? Me.
The support was overwhelming and thankfully the haters kept their criticism to themselves. I got over 100 hits in the first couple hours and by the end of the day I had almost 200. Currently I have over 320 page views for my post, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but was about 300 more than I was used to getting. I kept writing. It became my therapy; I began writing at least once a day, sometimes two or three. I had to write, I had to get it out of my brain. I needed a constructive outlet rather than the destructive path I could have so easily explored.
One year ago today I wrote: Some fairytales don’t have a happy ending.
This is still true. Fairytales take a shit ton of work and a whole lot of forgiveness and communication. We are still working on communication. I feel like we don’t speak the same language sometimes. We don’t finish each other’s…sandwiches. It is fantastically frustrating.
So here we are, just one year, 365 days later and I wish I had some grand profound message gleaned from the past 12 months, but I don’t. I have learned some smaller lessons about myself and how I thought the world worked. I am easier on myself and certainly less judgmental of others. I used to be so sure that life is easier than we made it, but I don’t know if that is true anymore.
Life can be hard. Life can be messy and complicated. Life can be all fucked up and leave you in a heap after being thrown around and spit out. But, thankfully, you hope to gain some perspective and grow from your situations. I know that everyone is fighting their own battles that we may never know about. I know that we need to give each other a break- we are just doing the best we can.
I guess that is my new life motto: Be good to people and start with you.