I have a confession. Sometimes I completely lose my shit. There is usually yelling. Yelling, cursing, fist pumping and what I assume are fire daggers shooting from my squinted, crazed eyes. I don’t know about the last part for certain, as I have never actually looked in a mirror during these fits, but I assume my family would attest to it. I am not proud of these moments- but they happen, perhaps more often than I would care to admit. I honestly feel like I can’t control it sometimes. Especially at the end of the day, when you can see the light in the tunnel and sugar plums are about to dance in their head- GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!! That book really does sum it up so well. After over 12 hours on the job, I am spent. I need to turn off my mom brain and give it a rest. I need to recharge.
So, to all of you parents out there, I propose this:
Put your right arm out in front of you. Now cross it over to your to your left shoulder. Pat yourself on the back.
You are awesome.
I just thought that maybe you could use the reminder. I know I need the reminder. In between shuttling kids, cups of coffee and returning emails- I just wanted to let you know that you are doing a pretty fucking fantastic job. You woke up this morning with the best of intentions, got the kids off to school or daycare or put them in front of the TV so that you could get some work done- no judgment. You are doing the best you can.
We are all doing the best we can. Good for us!
Did you put a roast in the crock pot before rushing off to the office? Did you stock the freezer with some tv dinners? Are you calling Pizza Hut on the way home? Are you trying out your new vegan quinoa stirfry? You are awesome!!
Give yourself a pat on the back for all the stuff you DO do. Let’s not focus on the fact that your kid talked you into candy before bed last night, or that you didn’t have the energy to force them to brush their teeth, or that they may or may not have lollipop stuck in their hair…hair that hasn’t been washed in one too many days because you were simply too tired to fight that battle tonight. (Why is it as hard to get them INTO the bath as it is to get them OUT later??!)
You wake up, you love your children fiercely and you try your best. Every. Single. Day.
Sure, sometimes you may yell, sometimes you may let them watch tv all day, sometimes you may feed them mac and cheese from the blue box without cutting up an apple “to keep it healthy”. That’s ok.
The important part is that you are trying. There is a big spectrum and most of us are in the middle making it happen. Making those kids into competent, loving, caring and well-ish adjusted individuals. Take a deep breath, give yourself a break, pour a glass of wine and remember, tomorrow brings a new opportunity for growth.
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