Christmas in October

I don’t like the holidays, let me just get that out there. I am super pissed off every year when I see commercials that reference the “holiday season” along side back to school ads! No, no, no. It is not the holiday season. The “holiday season” doesn’t begin until November. Let us freaking get through the hectic “summer is officially over” transition and buy our costumes and candy for Halloween before we dive head first into ugly jingle sweaters and pine scented plastic trees.

My daughter will be 5 and a half this Christmas season, which means that she is in full present/Santa/Elf/decorate a tree/snowball fight mode. Simply said, she will truly “get” it. My dear, sweet, holiday loving husband will be the very happiest this year. He is a Christmas fanatic. Before we were married he made us leave milk and cookies out for Santa and track his path on Santa radar. (I also had to get up in the middle of the night and throw out the now-warm milk and chunk the cookies into the nether regions of the freezer so they wouldn’t be spied thus exposing my secret….don’t tell my husband, he may be crushed.)

Two years ago the Elf on a Shelf nonsense didn’t go over very well. I thought we would try it out, but Ella didn’t really care and we lost interest. (Click HERE to see the Elf shenanigans)

Elmo on a shelf alternative to Elf of a Shelf

Elmo on A Shelf

In fact, we didn’t even spend the money (why is that string bean of an Elf so damn expensive??) and used a Elmo Elf that we had received the year before. Honestly though, the whole idea super e’ffing creeps me out. We tell our kids that a mythical Elf is watching over them to report back to Santa??

Yeah, I am sorry, if you are pissed off about the NSA then you should definitely not be encouraging “the man” to keep watch over your kids during the holiday season.  I know, I know, it’s supposed to be an incentive to keep your kids on their best behavior (which I am all for, I am not against bribes. The promise of fruit snacks got me through the terrible twos) however, the idea of a fat man coming down the chimney bringing presents because his super creepy elf was watching you all season…I don’t know. It’s all too much.

I want to enjoy the leaves changing color, scare some trick-or-treaters, cook a turkey, dress all snazzy for some holiday parties, open some pj’s on Christmas Eve, and then we can talk about Santa and all his creepy, breaking-an-entering antics. Let’s slow down. One thing at a time. It’s still October after all!

Let’s make a deal. I will promise to be less of a Grinch if we can all agree to take one holiday at a time. I may even get my own Elf on a Shelf…he may be creepy, but I could use the leverage with the tiny maniacs over here. (Can I borrow $30? I should have just coughed up the dough when he was on sale after Christmas last year.)


Elf on A Shelf may kill you.

It’s a possibility.


10 thoughts on “Christmas in October

  1. Very funny! i loved reading this post, and im like you, i hate that it feels like 30 days out from every holiday we are already ramping up for the next two holidays! there are already Christmas commercials and Christmas stuff up at the local stores! NO NO NO! hahah great post.


  2. I could NOT agree more about Elf on the Shelf!! He’s creepy! My boys want one, but I’m thinking my daughter might be just a bit terrified of him! She’s only 18 months! I find it insane that Halloween isn’t even HERE yet, but when I was walking through Dollar General this morning, they were in full blown Christmas mode & I didn’t see much in the way of Halloween. It’s pretty saddening!


  3. I like one holiday at a time too! I saw Elf on a shelf posts on Facebook that were kinda of fun, but I wouldn’t tell a kid he was being reported on.


  4. Ha ha!! I’m with you and the elf on the shelf! One night he is going to get us!! 😉 I think Michaels craft store started decorating for Christmas in Sept. It’s insanely early! Every year it gets earlier too. Crazy!


  5. I haven’t had elf on a shelf in my house. We did get Santa when my son was smaller because my dad really loves to dress up as Santa. I think he go really sad last year when I told him that I don’t want anymore Santa Christmasses. It’s just such a pagan tradition that has nothing to do with Christmas.


  6. I will wait til December to celebrate Christmas. It’s my favorite Holiday, but there is no need to start it in October, and it is NOT about presents – I don’t even do the whole Santa thing because it’s deceitful. I celebrate the birth of Christ and we spend time together as a family. The commercialization really bothers me… don’t get me started on Black Friday!


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