The thirteenth installment of January guest blogs: “Your scary, crazy, amazing goal you would accomplish in 2015 if you could do absolutely ANTHING!” If you would like to participate find me on Facebook– I would love to share your story!
January 14th: Bryn: Hives?
When I was asked if I wanted to participate this year in the Guest Blog series, I thought of many things that I could write about for my “Fun, Scary- Amazing goal for 2015” but couldn’t quite figure out which direction I wanted to go in. I think after a New Year we all really have the same goals- travel more, eat less, take care of our bodies, have more patience (moms of kids get this the most), but I wanted to try to really pinpoint what my life needed the most and what was lacking from my constant day to day. Last year I also contributed to the Guest Blogs, mine was the one about being the Solo-Parent. My husband travels and I have a 2 year old, blah blah blah. About 2 weeks after that blog was shared, I found out that I was pregnant and my second amazing and beautiful son was born in September. My husband is around more, but still traveling a ton, and I’m still “attempting” to master the solo-parenting role. New baby has brought on a whole lot of love and growth for our family, but also a whole lot of work and certainly new goals for the New Year.
I had my thoughts all ready and was going to begin writing about my goals, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, or hives to be exact. Just yesterday I ended up in the acute care for a case of hives so bad it felt like my entire body was on fire. The itching was unbearable and as I waited in the room for the doctor I kept imagining that they would tell me I had an allergic reaction or got bit by something- no such luck. Doctor came in, saw the whelps all over my body and within 10 seconds she diagnosed me with “stress related” hives. What? Then she asked me if I seemed to be stressed more than normal (what was “normal” when related to stress?) and that I needed to try and relax and perhaps rid myself of my triggers. I left the office with my cream and meds and a mind full of how I was going to figure out what was bothering me so much that my body was physically having a reaction to it. My body was giving me a warning sign, as the doctor put it, that I needed to slow down. Sure I have a new baby and a crazy toddler and a traveling husband, but other than the baby, nothing new was happening. I even had the thought “was I allergic to my kids?”—For real, being a mom is hard work, but clearly that’s not the case. It did get me thinking that I was on to something there though, and I realized that I was putting too much stress on myself when it came to being a mom and about my kids. After much thought I decided that my mantra and goal for this year would be “They are only young once, stop stressing (hives lady).”
When the baby isn’t sticking to any sleep schedule and once he does, it changes like 2 days later, I have to keep reminding myself it’s just a phase and there’s no controlling it. There is no way to rationalize infant sleep, and sometimes you just have to give in and let them be the way they are. There will be plenty of time for me to sleep train him in the next year, and he will grow up sleeping fine just like his brother. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When my 3 year old is begging for my attention, attention that I have less of now to give him, and he acts out in ways you can’t even imagine. I need to get down on his level and “be” with him, even if just for a few seconds. He won’t stop talking, and talking, and talking and sometimes I find myself trying to shush him so I can finish what I’m doing or my thought. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I can’t remember the last time I washed and dried my hair, or put on more makeup than just some lip gloss while running out the door, only to see myself in a mirror at some point and pick apart all the flaws I see. I look like that because I am busy being a mom, that’s a good thing right? Sure I may look like I live in gym clothes (don’t kid yourself, I don’t actually go to the gym) but that won’t be forever. Instead of spending those last 15-30 minutes of my morning when both boys are actually sleeping at the same time trying to get a little nap, one day I will be able to get myself ready. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I wonder why my house is a constant mess, and as soon as it’s clean, within 30 minutes it can be destroyed again. Kids play, and they mean business when they do. My 3 year old hasn’t mastered the art of picking up after himself (will he ever?) and I am constantly going round and round with him about this. From now on we will take baby steps and I will be happy that my son has such a bright imagination and thoroughly enjoys the toys that friends and family spend their time picking out for him as gifts. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I wish that my husband and I could travel more, even as a family with the kids. Then we start thinking about all the “required items” you have to bring to travel with a baby and a toddler. Just going to someone else’s house for the night requires a full trunk. Instead of being sad we can’t walk out the door at moment notice, be grateful that we will soon. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When every single book and advice column I read tells you so much baby advice. Hell, even the stranger in the grocery store will give you advice on your own baby. Don’t hold your baby too much, put him to sleep when he’s awake but about to fall asleep (my personal favorite because it’s impossible), don’t let them cry it out too young, don’t let them cry it out at all, make sure he’s having a good amount of tummy time. No. Stop. I will figure it all out with what works for me and my baby. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I feel like I am covered up in shit, and that’s not a metaphor. Potty training and dirty diapers for days in this house, and I can’t even begin to explain where and what I’ve had to clean poop off of in my home. No amount of preparation with the toddler mattered because once baby brother came into the picture; all prior training we had mastered went out the window. Something called “regression” that I wasn’t made fully aware of, or chose to ignore at the time. Either way, there’s just too much shit. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I’m trying my hardest to work from home (I kept the same job but work part-time from home now) and I just can’t seem to get anything done. Perhaps I take off a little time until the baby is on some sort of schedule, or perhaps I just finally have the guts to tell my husband that I don’t think my little bit of extra income is worth the stress. Watching what will probably be my last child grow up and not be so worried about work would be amazing. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I crave and need some adult and girl time and I just can’t ever seem to make it work. Have trust in my friendships and know that the right people will always be there no matter what. Besides birthday parties- where we spend most of our time watching and chasing our kids- I would love more opportunities to really visit with my friends. That time will come again and very soon. They are only young once, stop stressing.
When I’m running down my lists of “wants” and “needs” and not focusing on what my family already has right in front of us. Two healthy boys who may challenge us at times, but are learning and soaking up all this world has to offer them. My husband and I are learning at the same time how to be parents and navigating this new journey the best that we can. Stress will come, maybe even in the form of some very unwanted and unattractive hives, and I hope to take it day by day and not let it overcome me anymore. This year I will stop stressing. They are only young once, enjoy every minute!