No “Plus One”

I have been invited to two weddings in the last week. TWO! I am a bridesmaid in one and a guest in the other. I kinda love weddings although I cry at every single one of them. I am sitting at my desk Pinteresting “nude/gold bridesmaids dresses” when all of a sudden I think, “The wedding is in November…it may be pretty cold…I most likely won’t have a date’s jacket to steal to keep me warm”. Awesome. No date.

Being married is advantageous for many reasons, but one of them is an automatic “plus one” to all occasions. Who will escort you to the fundraiser/wedding/holiday party? Your built in date of course! I am not saying that I cannot or will not go to an event alone, I just really like having a buddy. Its fun to have someone order your cocktail or save you a seat at the cool kids table. I like that. Someone that keeps tabs on you and makes sure no one has stolen you. (I am not paranoid, I promise). I love the camaraderie of relationships but now I guess I can be that slutty brazen and independent bridesmaid that can sleep with the groomsman or hot cater waiter or go home alone and happy- its up to me!

It is still weird, though. I don’t have to match anyone’s tie to my dress. I don’t need a king bed. A twin would be fine for little ol’ me. In fact, I can just bunk up on an air mattress if necessary…just me, my champagne flute and my nude/gold sparkly bridesmaid dress.

On the flip side, I suppose I also don’t have to wonder if he is having fun or drinking too much at the open bar. I don’t have to worry about keeping track of him while I socialize with friends and family. I don’t have to go home early if he gets tired. I don’t have to feel bad that he has to occupy himself while I take pictures before and after the ceremony. This sounds easy. I can just worry about me, my hair falling flat and remembering to bend my knees during the ceremony so I don’t pass out and embarrass myself.

I still have 8 months until the wedding, which mean lots of time to continue growing and become more confident in my new role. Mom. Co-parent. Employee (hopefully). I am really excited and anxious to meet the future me. I wish she would come visit me now and reassure me that everything works out well. I want to know that everyone is happy, healthy and thriving. I am sure we will, we have been working our asses off to remain respectful and civil.  But in the mean time, maybe I will look for an elegant gown with sleeves, that way I wont need a suit jacket to keep me warm anyways.

I really like this one:

gold bridesmaid dress

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8 thoughts on “No “Plus One”

    • I think about her all the time! I also like to remember when I get to that point in the future, that I really take a moment to “be there” and own the moment that I had hoped for.

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  1. I know this future you because I knew you single before you became a team…sure life evolves us and we learn as we go, but the you I fell in love with, the girl that was my friend and then-now a sister, the confident, fun and no BS girl I know… she’s coming back out from under the rubble. We hold true to the heart’s desire and it just works out that you are being given a chance to shine!

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    • That dress, right? Positivity is a necessity or I could very well drown in the negativity…what is that scene from Waiting to Exhale when she is walking down the drive as the whole house burns down in the background, yeah. So, I stick to xanax and a positive attitude. 🙂

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  2. Stunning dress! Single is what girlfriends are for. You travel in a foxy pack instead of one man. You can look around and appreciate the men surrounding the party, you can laugh without being thought of as a flirt…or Being Thought Of As A Flirt – which is said with great wishing from others. You can be exactly who YOU are and not the old who “WE” were….and you can shop…clothing, household goods and men…all by yourself. You’re in charge. Your girlfriends give ideas not you don’t have to take their advice….nice!
    BTW, you’ll look beautiful in it!

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  3. It is good to look at the pros and cons, just like you did, then wind up with a positive attitude about it all. This is one of the best ways to get through those kind of moments during a divorce.

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